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On 409 in particular

When Meta restricts an account, every refused request is a signal that the business has not noticed. A retry loop against a restriction extends it.The console shows the reason and when it lifts. Go and look rather than retrying.
409 also covers the correct-behaviour cases: a marketing template addressed to somebody who opted out is refused. That is not a bug to work around.

Retry policy that will not hurt you

The important line is the last one: the same idempotency key on every attempt. Generating a fresh key per retry turns a safe retry into a duplicate message. Keys are honoured for 24 hours, so a backoff that runs for minutes is well inside the window. A job parked overnight and released the next morning is not — it will send.